===========================================================================
 BBS: The Cutting Edge!
Date: 03-26-95 (02:41)             Number: 298264
From: SHADOWLORD                   Refer#: 298241
  To: ** ALL **                     Recvd: NO  
Subj: A Farewell                     Conf: (11) Hello
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        The Unveiling

I wrote a poem to her once.
I thought to win her heart, esconce
Her soul, but everytime I tried
To send it off to her, I'd find
Some minor flaw or trifling change,
A single phrase to rearrange,
One molecule of disarray
Within my deep romantic play.

And so, the moments passed, and I,
I let them glide contently by
I'd fix a flaw to find its brother,
And, healing one hurt, harm another.
My rhyme developed to an art
That guaranteed to wing her heart.
But as my poem multiplied,
The love she had for me
just
died.


        A very good friend of mine wrote that poem about 8 years ago. I
recieved a copy of it in 1992 when that friend was in a period of
reflection. In a letter he wrote he felt the need to apologize for some
of his actions. And at the time felt that the poem illustrated what he
had been and no longer wished to be. I was a little taken aback by his
need to apologize because no apology was neccessary. Being yourself
isn't a crime whether or not others don't always understand you.
       Sometimes I say things about people taking their friendship for
granted and being overly critical. I have slammed my friend for various
reasons that now pale when I think about the future. The future in which
my friend is going to move away. Yes folks I speak of Blue Devil. So now
to make up for those nasty little things I have said about him in
public forums. I have said some other things to people about Blue
Devil that I don't remember ever saying to Blue Devil's face. Now
I want to share them in a public forum and in Blue Devil's full
view. Blue Devil is one of the most amazing people I have met in my
lifetime. His thought processes are so fast that he becomes frustrated
when others can't keep up. Something I consider a quality. I have seen
him read, he looks at a page...and its read. I really wish I could do
that. His intelligence and creativity are bar none far greater than the
average person and greater even than not a few above-average people. He
has insight, foresight and a huge amount of compassion without being
naive enough to be taken advantage of.
     His artistic ability is far from lacking. I remember inviting him
a party one time. The whole idea was to gather together musicians to jam
(no I am not a musician).  At one point Blue Devil began playing a casio
keyboard and quietly glided into "Desperado" by the Eagles. By the time
that he was halfway through the song people stopped talking, stopped
what they were doing, smiled and payed close attention to his voice. It
was phenomenal and I was proud to have been the one to invite him and
introduce him to that crowd.
     Needless to say he is someone I am proud to call a friend, people
like him aren't a dime a dozen. Oops almost forgot (but I am sure this
is something we are ALL familiar with) his rapier wit. I suppose that
goes along with intelligence in a way but it takes more than
intelligence to be truly funny.
     It is difficult to express your true feelings sometimes until you
experience some type of loss. True he isn't dying. But he will be absent
from our prescence for a time. Being a very private person I don't like
to be around people a lot, but I do like to visit people when I don't
want to be alone. It saddens me that I will be unable to visit Blue
Devil when I seek companionship. Because as far as companions go he is
definitely one of the best.
     In the letter Blue Devil wrote he said "You may have noticed in all
these sentences the word "love" appears very infrequently. I guess this
is mainly because the word scares me to death. Its a loaded word and an
inexact one...........Still for all its flaws and connotations it is
one of the most beautiful words around, and I regret not having the
strength of character to use it more. And if there is one word that
encompasses how I feel about all of you, and what all the late night
sessions and parties and long phone conversations come down to, I'd be
hard pressed to find a better one."
     Well so would I dude. So would I.... I for one am going to miss you
Rick.

Love, your friend,

Leland
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 þ SLMR 2.1 þ Don't you hate tear-stained keyboards!?