===========================================================================
 BBS: The Cutting Edge!
Date: 03-09-95 (05:47)             Number: 290875
From: SWEET JANE                   Refer#: NONE
  To: ** ALL **                     Recvd: NO  
Subj: poetry                         Conf: (16) Lyceum
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   Well, for starters, I guess I am making use of my renewed access :)
Um, I am mostly a writer of non-fiction, informative/persuasive
articles, so letting anyone see this kind of writing is new to me.  But
I have been writing a lot lately, and I guess I am just curious what
people who actually read the "real" stuff think of all this.  None of it
is edited...this is just how it came out of my head.  There are five, so
bear with me, but pleasse also let me hear from you (email or
whatever...)  I am just curious what you think.
   Also, for anyone that may wonder, I am not writing as a
"character"...these are all about me somehow.

"Poetry"

More words on a page,
Letters fitting together
just right to form images.
These are feelings.
These are thoughts.
These are symbols of one person.
Each group of words clusters
to form a mirror that looks in
to me
But the words cannot shatter
like the mirror does
when it reflects nothing.
A mirror that cannot reflect
is worthless
Like an empty soul.
But words always reflect,
even if nothing is there.
Words do not break down
because they do their job
Just being,
telling about the mirror
that looked upon a numb soul one day,
and cracked.
Together these words are good
Even when they are not.
This is poetry.

Jennifer Gaye DePonzi
(Sweet Jane)
===========================================================================
 BBS: The Cutting Edge!
Date: 03-09-95 (05:52)             Number: 290876
From: SWEET JANE                   Refer#: NONE
  To: ** ALL **                     Recvd: NO  
Subj: untitled                       Conf: (16) Lyceum
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Your voice was calm tonight,
Maybe a bit too cheerful.
You spoke of superficial things,
trying to make me believe you're happy,
trying to make me believe it's over
because you've moved on and
You're content.
But are you?

I don't think you are.
Part of me believes you're unhappy
because *I* am unhappy
because you're there
and I'm here.
You've built a wall to keep me out
so I can't hurt you anymore.
But now it's you hurting you,
avoiding the true love you know
only I can give you.

You think love hurts,
and it does if you are alone
Like I am.
When will you open a dorr?
Give me a sign?
I'm ready to show you that
love doesn't have to hurt.
The wounds it's caused can go away
if we heal together.
Let me in.


...JGD
===========================================================================
 BBS: The Cutting Edge!
Date: 03-09-95 (06:00)             Number: 290877
From: SWEET JANE                   Refer#: NONE
  To: ** ALL **                     Recvd: NO  
Subj: A History of Me                Conf: (16) Lyceum
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Young, I was...
Curious and frightened.
Would I run away?
Would I get kidnapped
  by bad guys in vans?
Would I lose my mommy
  and be alone in the world?
Would I kill myself
  if I had a gun?
So many questions...
For these I felt guilty,
But the world was a scary place.

Teenaged, I was...
Ambitious and stronger.
How far could I go?
Would I be famous or
  "just" successful?
How would I help the friends
  that need me?
Would I meet the right person?
How would I find love?
Many more questions...
For these I felt anticipation,
And the world was a stimulating place.

Now, I am...
Uncertain and frightened.
I want to run away.
I have been taken hostage
  by the demons inside myself.
I have lost the one closest to me
  and am alone in the world.
Would I kill myself
  if I had a gun?
Only one question...
For this I feel guilty,
And the world is, once again, a scary place.


JGDePonzi  (I like this one best)
===========================================================================
 BBS: The Cutting Edge!
Date: 03-09-95 (06:05)             Number: 290878
From: SWEET JANE                   Refer#: NONE
  To: ** ALL **                     Recvd: NO  
Subj: "You"                          Conf: (16) Lyceum
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I miss you.
I wonder how much of it is because
I miss familiarity?
I gain physical pleasure from those
I don't know.
I have become someone
I don't like.
I eat,
I breathe,
I even sleep sometimes.
I laugh, but more often
I cry.
I wonder why
I am still here?
I focus my world on me because
I am all I've got.
I hate who
I am now.
I need someone to help me feel.
I know that if
I had the chance again
You would be the center of my world.


JGD
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 BBS: The Cutting Edge!
Date: 03-09-95 (06:10)             Number: 290907
From: SWEET JANE                   Refer#: NONE
  To: ** ALL **                     Recvd: NO  
Subj: last one (!!!)                 Conf: (16) Lyceum
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untitled


Words, like my being,
drip
from
me
like
c
 o
  f
   f
    e
    e
into
a
dark cup
soon to be
swallowed and
gone forever,
only they pool
themselves to-
gether, briefly,
and
then
scatter
about
frantically
deciding
what
is
right
and
wrong
and
where
to go
from here.....


JGD